Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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