Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
