the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
