Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
