don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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