FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
