i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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