Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
i barfeds in our rink
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I am mentally ready for anal.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize