What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
