The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Randomize
