im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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