My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
