the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
