Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize