Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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