He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
