just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
