The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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