My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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