What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Randomize
