THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
someone owes me an orgasm
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
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