I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize
