i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
