I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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