It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
