My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
