It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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