i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize
