Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
