Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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