I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Randomize
