Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
