you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Randomize
