I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
