I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I think weed is turning my hair brown
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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