you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
