Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
