goodnight i made you a song goodbye
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
