one word: firstdatebathroomanal
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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