you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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