I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I pour the whiskey from now on
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize
