Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize
