So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
