he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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