Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Randomize