Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
If I die, sorry about rent.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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