Cold hands, warm shart.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
