btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
His hands were made for my vagina.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
