So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
