Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
my being single is dangerous.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
The uberlube is also flammable
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
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