next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
you never un-have a 4some
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
