My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
