Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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