Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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