its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Shame is for Republicans.
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