You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
