White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I don't think brook has ever known best
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
