If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
You can't just leave with hair like that
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
