Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
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