$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
