i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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