But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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