dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
