I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
