i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
