All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
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