My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
