We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Hippo gnu deer
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
