ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Randomize
